It was daughter’s day a few days ago and I am sharing here a note of thanks that I wrote for my husband. Super hero and super Dad rolled into one.
Thanks for helping me in being a mom to a baby boy. Thanks for helping to ensure that my son doesn’t grow up to be a confused man.
It is hard today, in this day and age to raise a baby boy. It is hard not to make mistakes while raising a baby boy. Why?
Because we as a society are pushing our sons towards an existential crisis to a great extent. We are not preparing them, we are not giving them a fair chance.
We are educating and empowering our daughters to the best of our abilities but we are not equipping our sons to be able to comprehend the power of that.
Our daughters are being prepared to break the shackles of patriarchy but our sons are being smothered with layers of centuries old knuckle dragging, chauvinistic attitude.
We are raising daughters to be in the army but are we teaching our sons to cook?
We are teaching our daughters to fly high, to be independent and to take care of themselves but are we telling our sons that it is ok if the wife is the bread winner and the husband be a home maker?
We are telling our daughters to be equal owners of the house. But are we telling our sons that running the household is the responsibility of a man too?
We are telling our daughters that it is ok if they don’t want to ‘ settle down and have kids but are we teaching our sons that feeding the child is the responsibility of both parents?
Our daughters know that it is important to fight back and not be afraid to ask for equality but are we teaching our sons that it is ok take a back seat?
We tell our daughters today that they should aim for the star and dream to head a global venture but have we told our sons that if she earns more than you then you should be that much more proud of her? And not feel emasculated by that fact?
The daughter wishes to be on the board of the company, be the decision maker. Does the son want to know what groceries are needed this month?
Our daughters know that saying saying No means No and that Consent is not vague; it is absolute. But does our son know that?
Because that is the only way that Rape Culture will ever end.
So you see unless and until we give a fair chance to our sons to know these things too, they will just grow up totally unaware and be faced with the harsh reality suddenly.
They will not be equipped to be at par with our daughters, whom we are giving the opportunity to be fair and stand equal.
They will patronise and try to one up the women around them because they have been brought up under the guidance of years of toxic masculinity theories which denounce a woman to be unequal and lowly.
So we are denying the power of knowledge and light to our sons if we are not making them aware of the entrenched prejudice against women which the society carries around unawares.
Why deny it to our sons? This knowledge and the apparent pitfall of these set prejudices which are ingrained in our society’s psyche?
Why set them up for failure?
As a mom to a little boy, I sincerely hope that I can raise him up to understand the true meaning of empowerment for women.
That It is not only freedom in choice or financial stability or the right to security and safety that is a woman’s right.
It is definitely all that and more but empowerment of women is also the freedom to take their own decisions. About everything. Be it their clothes, their bodies, their every choice.
The right to make their own decisions and to be accepted with that.
I hope I can guide my son to grow up to be a man who knows to respect the right to ones own decisions that every women should have.
Let’s all hope that ours sons are woke and on board with the agenda and not left behind.
#gender-equality #feminism #patriarchy
Happy equal parenting,
Love 💕 Smita